Psalm 46

This is what I studied this afternoon in my time with the Lord. It's amazing how much God will use and re-use His word in our lives. I have reflected on this Psalm a number of times, but today it was like brand new to me. It's such a great reminder that I am not in control of my life, it is the Lord's and His to control. He is to be my refuge and strength.

It's sobering as I approach my first treatment because I want to know when and how and if this medicine will heal my body. I so want to be whole again. I want to be able to run. I want to be able to see clearly, all the time. I want to be refreshed and not tired all the time. But, I know these things may come back to me, or God may keep them from me. He is sovereign and He is in control. I must trust Him!

My faith has been weary the past few weeks. I am sad that I will have to stop nursing my daughter. I hate this. I feel like she is getting the short-end of the stick. I KNOW she is not. And I know that she will be fine, but it's still hard. I would be lying if I said otherwise. God is on His throne and He is in control. And this is what I must stay focused on.

Here are the words of this great Psalm, which inspired Martin Luther to write the great hymn A Mighty Fortress is our God.

God is our refuge and strength, A very present present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though
the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake and its
swelling pride.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.
Come, behold the works of the Lord,
who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

This song I am sharing with you is one of my favorites. I absolutely love when we worship the Lord with this song on Sunday mornings.

Happy 2 Months to Grace!

Grace is growing and changing so fast; I really need to be better about taking pictures of her!

It's so hard to believe that it's already been two months since her birth. It has been a wonderful two months. Grace is such a sweet baby. She is an incredibly easy baby. I am so thankful that God has given us an easy baby! She is sleeping through the night, and sleeps most of the day!

She had her two month appointment yesterday. I had all four children squeezed into the small room, waiting for the nurse and doctor to give Grace her exam and shots. I am still amazed that we have four children. Of course I know this, but it's always so sweet when I have them all together. Claire was playing in the sink, while Jack was reading a book to Luke, and I was holding Grace. This was an appointment I enjoyed because I loved watching the children as we waited. I couldn't have asked for the appointment to be any better.

Grace is growing and the doctor said she is perfect!

Weight: 11lbs. 9oz.
Height: 24 in.

A New Book to Read

I am so happy that Bible study is back in session. I love the teaching, and my small group so much. I need this weekly encouragement from older women, and moms who are in the same season of life as me.

We are reading Elyse Fitzpatrick's book Give them Grace.

We are two chapters in, and it is so challenging!

I have also been listening to Revive Our Hearts this week. I noticed that Elyse was the featured guest in which she is talking about another one of her books Love to Eat, Hate to Eat. It has been SO good. She talks about the consuming powers of food, and how food can become an area of besetting sin in the lives of believers, especially women.

This book is not just for those with eating disorders, it's for any person who struggles with her diet. Even our eating should bring glory to the Lord, it should not consume us.

Christmas Morning

MS Update

I am writing this post to thank all of you who have been praying for me. I had an appointment with my neurologist this morning and received some great news....my MS has not progressed at all since my first brain MRI last March!!!! Praise the Lord!

Being pregnant with Grace did in fact protect my body from any further damage to my brain or spine. I must admit, I was a little worried when I found out I was expecting Grace last April. I had just been diagnosed, ready to begin treatment, and God surprised us with another baby.

Jordan was so certain that God was going to use this pregnancy to protect my body. It was hard for me to wrap my head around it at the time because all I could think was, "How will I be able to care for another baby when I feel so awful?" But I had to stop worrying because the situation was out of my hands. God had given us another baby and there was nothing that would change that.

I immediately began to ask the Lord for His grace to help me trust what He was doing. I knew, and know now, that God was over it all. He had a plan, and He was going to use Grace to accomplish it.

We quickly found out that pregnancy and MS are great for each other. Pregnancy offers a lot of the same results that different MS drugs do. So being pregnant was like treatment for nine months, but in the end I had a wonderful, sweet baby girl to show for it. It was also great timing to be pregnant because it bought us some time to be certain that Tysabri is the drug I want to go with.

Jordan immediately said that if this baby was a girl we should name her Grace. He was certain it was God's grace being extended to us during that very hard time last Spring. He was certain God would protect my body, and He did.

We were so excited leaving the doctor's office this morning. I had been a little scared to hear of my recent MRI results, but after hearing my doctor say that everything looks good, and that I am ready for treatment, it was like a giant weight had been lifted off my chest.

But it wouldn't be right if I didn't give God all the glory for the news we received today. He has been the one leading us, and answering the prayers of so many. He has been with us every single step of this journey. He has brought us closer to Him. He has used this trial to transform my faith and my prayer life. He has made me a better and stronger person through this.

We give God the glory, and are trusting Him for more answered prayer!

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. James 1:2-8

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:4-7

A Sweet Time

It will be four weeks tomorrow since we welcomed Grace into our family. Since then, the older three have been in and out of the house, spending a lot of time in Beaufort.

It has been a nice break. I feel like I have been able to get some much needed rest, and I really have been able to get to know Grace. I have been able to respond to her every need. I now know her cries. I know when she is tired, hungry or happy. I know her daily routine (for the most part). In some ways it has felt like I am a first time mom, having only one to care for.

It was also a great time for the older three to spend extra time with Amma, Granddaddy, and Aunt GraceAnna because I started treatment last week. It wasn't the "real" treatment that I will be doing on a monthly basis, just a three day steroid treatment to keep my body from having a relapse. The relapse rate is high in postpartum women, so the doctor wanted to treat my body before an attack could happen.

I was nervous. I didn't want the steroids. I was worried about the side effects.

But, once again, God was so faithful to answer our prayers and the prayers of our family and friends. With the exception of the first day, I felt terrific. I had energy during the day, but would crash at night. Even little Grace started sleeping 6-8 hour stretches the night of my first treatment, and she has been since! Praise the Lord! God is so good.

During the past four weeks I have had a lot of time to pray. Having a nursing baby has always been a sweet time for me. Those night time feedings allow me to get close with the Lord. There are so many things that go through my mind in the middle of the night. I am able to have devoted times of prayer for my husband and each one of my children. The Lord brings others to mind, and He always brings things to my mind that need to be done, changed, or incorporated into our family life. It is truly an awesome time.

I feel like my relationship with the Lord always grows deeper with each baby, which I am thankful for because I know I will need the Holy Spirit's help this year! I want this year to be filled with devotion to the Lord. I want to be shaken to my core with the things of God's word. I want to be more knowledgeable of the Bible at the end of this year. I am asking the Lord for a great year.

I want to have lots of joy in our home. Lots of laughter. Sweet times with each of our children. I don't want to miss out on the every day moments that take place in a house with four children under five. I know I will only be able to achieve this if I am walking close to our Lord. I need to be sensitive to the Spirit's leading. I want to be.

Last year was tough, but I don't write it off as a year to forget. In some ways it was the most difficult year of my life, but it was through the trials I faced that my faith became rock solid. So I am thankful for 2011. Yes, it was hard at times, but God sure did put a happy ending to the year by blessing us with Grace Catherine!

"Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;" ~ Psalm 103:1-4

Jack, Luke, and Claire will be home today! I am excited to see them, and I know they are excited to see us and their new sister!

Grace Catherine

Grace was starting to get tired by the end so we had to put her pacifier in!


This is one of my favorites!

My sweet friend Brooke came over and took some adorable shots of Grace. I will only be sharing two because I haven't decided which one I am going to use for her birth announcement!

Thank you, Brooke!