My Holy Ambition

Most recently I have been spending my quiet times studying the life of Ruth. I have read Ruth so many times throughout my Christian life, but this time it's like Ruth has come alive to me. There are so many aspects about her life that I had missed before.

Ruth was a woman who left EVERYTHING to follow her mother-in-law to an unknown land. When Ruth promised to go, she was forever saying goodbye to her home country and even to her family.

Ruth says to Naomi, "Do not urge me to leave you or to turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the Lord do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me." Ruth 1:16-17

The words of Ruth have been with me over the past week. Yes, Ruth had committed herself to Naomi, but more importantly, she had committed herself to God. Ruth put her trust in the Lord for her provision for the future. As far as she knew, she would never remarry or have children, but that did not stop her unfailing commitment to Naomi or to God.

As I think about the actions of Ruth, it makes me wonder what I have "left" to follow the Lord. What are the things that have a grip on my heart more than they should? What people in my life do I hold dearer than I do the Lord? And finally, if God asked me, would I be willing to leave everything in order to follow Christ?

As I was answering these questions, the Lord reminded me that for now He has called me to be a worker at home. First, I am to devote my life to following Christ, second, to following Jordan, and lastly, raising our children for His glory.

It is highly unlikely and unbiblical that the Lord would ask me to abandon my family, but it's not unlikely that the Lord would ask me to abandon the foolish ways of this world to raise a godly heritage. In fact He has asked me to do that. He’s called me to pour my life into being a helpmate to Jordan and being a godly mother.

So, it is my holy ambition to wholly commit, whatever time I have left in my earthly home, to the Lord. And through committing myself to the Lord, I will be able to be Jordan's helper, and our children’s' mother. Not just any wife and mother – but the wife and mother God has called me to be.

I am no fool. I realize that the cost of discipleship is high. This will mean saying no to certain activities, movies, music, books, friendships, etc. This will mean not always being the "cool" mom on the block. This will mean real submission to Jordan, even when I may not understand. And it will also mean telling our children "no" for reasons that they are not yet old enough to understand. It will mean spending hours on my knees praying for my husband and children. It will mean sleepless nights. It will mean being here, with our children, in our home, during the every day moments of life.

But, it will also mean reaping the awesome benefits that the Lord will have for me. I will be able to see the fruit of my labor in the lives of our children. I know there are days now when I feel like all I am doing to refereeing. I feel like there are days when all I have done is discipline the boys. But, thankfully, now that Jack is almost four, I am already seeing the fruit of those long days of training him when he was Luke's age. Now I see Jack helping Luke make the right decisions. I see Jack being a great example to Luke. And I am always hearing from people, wherever we go, that our children are so loving, kind, well-behaved, and that it's obvious Jack already has a heart for the Lord.

The Lord is so good to those who walk with Him. The Lord has a way of bringing people in our lives to encourage us at just the right times. He has a way of using a Bible verse that I have memorized to remind me of His truth when I am at a loss for words.

It is in the every day moments of life that I am able to see the Lord at work. I am so thankful that I know the Lord. I am so thankful for the godly people the Lord placed in my life as I was growing up. I am so thankful for a godly husband. I am so overwhelmed with thankfulness to the Lord for all the blessings He has poured out on our family.

So, like Ruth, I want to be the woman, wife and mother who is ready to "leave" whatever the Lord calls me to fully walk with Him.

Finally, I want to share 2 Timothy 2 with you all. Jordan and I memorized the entire book of 2 Timothy when we were in High School. Chapter 2 is my life passage right now. I hope this encourages you, as it has me!

You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier. Also if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules. The hard-working farmer ought to be the first to receive his share of the crops. Consider what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything. Remember Jesus Christ, risen from the dead, descendant of David, according to my gospel, for which I suffer hardship even to imprisonment as a criminal; but the word of God is not imprisoned. For this reason I endure all things for the sake of those who are chosen, so that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus and with it eternal glory. It is a trustworthy statement: For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him; if we endure, we will also reign with Him; if we deny Him, He also will deny us; if we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself. Remind them of these things, and solemnly charge them in the presence of God not to wrangle about words, which is useless and leads to the ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth. But avoid worldly and empty chatter, for it will lead to further ungodliness, and their talk will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, men who have gone astray from the truth saying that the resurrection has already taken place, and they upset the faith of some. Nevertheless, the firm foundation of God stands, having this seal, "The Lord knows those who are His," and, "Everyone who names the name of the Lord is to abstain from wickedness." Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels. The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.