God's Will for My Life

A few weeks ago I started reading Elisabeth Elliot's, Keep a Quiet Heart. This is more of a devotional book, rather than a chapter by chapter book. It is excellent, and God has been faithful to use this godly woman's words to convict and encourage my heart.

Today, after laying the children down for naps, I had already had my quiet time but was looking for something else from the Lord. He lead me to this book. I opened up the book, read the devotion title, and quickly started reading. The devotion was titled, How to Discover what God Wants..

You see, for the past few months I have been struggling with a decision we have to make for one of our children. It is a pretty big decision, and I so want to do what the Lord desires. It has been difficult. There have been days when the decision seems clear, and then I wake up the next morning with another thought. I have been so frustrated with myself for being so back and forth on this.

I know that God has a plan for each one of our children, and I know that He will be faithful to bring it about. <em>"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

I also know that God gives wisdom and discernment to parents when they are seeking it. Proverbs is full of verses on wisdom, and I have been feasting on them, but still have had this feeling of uncertainty. Why?

Well, as I was reading Elisabeth Elliot's devotion, it was like the Lord came down and opened my eyes to why I haven't been hearing Him clearly!

She says, "Three questions may help to clarify the call of God. Have I made up my mind to do what he says, no matter what the cost? Am I faithfully reading His Word and praying? Am I obedient in what I know today of His will?"

There is was! Not only did I feel stupid for not recognizing the reason for my wishy washy behavior, but I felt like I had been pierced in my heart. It was a God moment. He showed me that while I have been faithful to pray, read His Word, and obey what I know to be true, I HAD NOT made up my mind to obey exactly what He tells me to do in this decision.

I never thought that I wasn't completely willing to obey what He says, but it is true. There are things that I want to be in control of. There are things that I want to have the final say. And this decision we are in the process of making will change a lot of things in our family. I will have to be more selfless, more patient, etc.

But isn't this exactly what our Savior has called me to be anyway? Why am I struggling with this? Why? Because I am selfish. I like being in control. I like knowing what to expect. In fact, I hate the unknown. But it's not about me; it's about dying to myself daily in order to serve my family.

"Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." Philippians 2:1-4

"If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily." Matthew 16:24

God has really opened my eyes to my sinfulness today. He has made is clear that this life is not about me. It's not about my desires, wants, or needs. It's all about serving Christ, completely and unashamedly. It's about putting the needs of others before mine.

So while reading this excerpt from Elisabeth Elliot's book has not made our decision clear, it has made my way of thinking clear. It's not that one decision is "better" than the other, or that one is "bad" and one is "good". But it is about being ready to completely obey whatever decision the Lord calls us to!

"Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning; for I trust in You; Teach me the way in which I should walk; for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8