In Sickness and In Health

Last weekend Jordan and I attended a wedding. I don't know why but weddings ALWAYS make me teary-eyed, no matter how well or little I know the couple. I love watching the groom as he watches his bride walk down the aisle. I love when the father gives his daughter away. I love the music. I pretty much love it all.

But there was something different about this wedding that hit me in a different way. I especially was teary-eyed when the couple was exchanging their vows. I immediately flashed back to our wedding and the vows that we promised to keep.

It made me think. It made me ponder how so many couples promise the exact words that Jordan and I did seven years ago, but have failed to keep them. It was sad to think of the people we know who have divorced, or who have never been faithful to their spouse. I prayed for this couple, and I prayed that their marriage would be solid and lasting. I prayed for their salvation, because without Christ at the center it will be a tough road ahead.

After those thoughts and prayers, I found myself smiling. I was smiling because the man whom I love the most was sitting by my side with his arm around me. But I was smiling the most because I am so thankful for Jordan. Jordan has kept every word of our vows.

Until this year we have never been sick, always in health, so that was easy. It's easy to love someone who is well and can carry their load. What's tough is when someone you rely on is no longer the same. No longer able to do much of what they used to do. It throws things for a loop. No longer predictable.

As most of you know, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in March. This rocked our world. For almost a year I had been visiting different doctors and physical therapists, but after Christmas things really came to a head. The symptoms were no longer "manageable". There was no more pushing the problem under the rug.

After having a series of MRI's done, it was in fact confirmed, I have MS. There was no more brushing things over. This was real. Our lives were forever changed.

I had suspected MS for about two months before it was confirmed. It was like I had a peace about it. I knew the doctors would confirm it. Jordan, being the optimist that he is told me that there was no way it was MS. He prayed with and for me every day, asking God for it to be something curable.

I still remember all the dates surrounding my diagnosis. Those dates are forever etched in my memory. But with each date, I have a Bible verse or a song that the Lord gave me along the way.

I am so thankful for the timing of my diagnosis. It couldn't have come at a better time for me spiritually speaking.

I haven't been angry with God. I haven't even been asking the "why" questions. God really gave me a peace even before I officially knew. I know God has a plan for my life. God already knew that I would be 28, have a husband and three children when diagnosed. God's timing is never off.

This trial has drawn our entire family even closer to the Lord. We are learning new things each day about God, and His faithfulness to our family. How can we be mad when we have an overwhelming amount of things to be thankful for?

We are choosing to be thankful. Of course that doesn't mean that we are happy that I have a life-long disease, but it does mean that we are trusting the Lord to bring us through this trial.

There have been hard days. Days with a lot of tears. Days when I have no energy to be the wife and mom I so long to be. But there has yet to be a day that God hasn't given me the strength I need to do the things I need to do. God is so good!

Jordan has been amazing. He has been praying and fasting so faithfully for God to heal me of this disease. He has lightened my load in so many ways. He has made sure that I am seeing one of the best MS doctors in the country. He spent hours researching my disease and ways to make things better. I think he knows more about it than I do:-)

He has already taken me on two trips for me to get extra rest and relaxation. He takes care of dinner some nights. He has been so commited to me through this. He has kept his vow to love me in sickness and in health.

God has taught us so much. The biggest lesson we have learned is to live each day for the glory of the Lord. Not that any of us know what tomorrow will bring, but now we truly get it. Tomorrow is not promised. Our health is not promised. So we want to invest even more in the things that will last: God's word and people.

Over the next few months I hope to share some things that God has been teaching me through this trial. I have so many verses that have brought nothing but comfort and encouragement. I have books that have impacted me forever. I hope to share these things over the coming months.

Today I want to share two songs that Jordan has sent me on two different occasions. The first song is a song from him to me, the second is a song that reminded him of me as I was walking through this trial. They were sent at just the right time. God knew I needed them.