The Strength of the Lord

The day has come. My treatment starts this morning at 8:30. I am excited to get things started, but this morning the reality of it all has hit me hard.

It's been almost a year since my diagnoses. I haven't had to think about it much since I was pregnant and have been busy with a newborn. But this morning it is so real. The reality that I am living with a disease is really scary right now. I am scared about the infusion. I am scared about the potential side effects. I feel so heavy.

As I was nursing Grace for the last time, the Lord was so gracious to bring scripture after scripture to mind. He was comforting me with His words. I am so glad that I have stored scripture away in my heart. I needed those words this morning.

While I am scared of the unknown, I really have learned how to rely on the strength of the Lord. The past year has been a whirlwind, but God has been so faithful to teach me to trust in Him, and Him alone. It's only by a divine miracle that this disease will be cured, but this is what I am asking. I am asking the Lord to make my body whole, and to take away this disease. I am trusting He will answer. I am believing. I have to.

I also know that I may live the rest of my life battling this disease, but this doesn't change God's goodness to me. He is faithful no matter what. He is still on the throne. He is still in complete control.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be on my lips. Psalm 34:1

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His lovingkindness is everlasting. Psalm 136:1

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits; who pardons all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle. Psalm 103:1-5

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:5-7